Wednesday, September 12, 2007

I'm Back, So Read If You WIll

It was a long drought, living without email and high-speed internet. I felt very disconnected from friends and family - I missed you all.

Friends and family - it's supposed to be a catch-all phrase. But there are loved ones who don't fall into either of those categories, aren't there? It's hard to know how to classify them without lengthy explanations. (That, of course, defeats the purpose of categorizing, doesn't it?) Not having the opportunity to speak to them, be it due to choice, tension, history, or restraining order (KIDDING!), precludes either procession or closure, just leaving things stuck - like the lump in your throat you catch before deciding whether to cry at a really sad part in the movie. You can't wish it away, but you don't want it to explode either, necessitating a later explanation. There are too many things like that for me now - not allowed to go back, but unable to move forward. The proverbial rock and a hard place. (As a Bible teacher, I should note that "proverbial" is used in the loosest sense of the word, as neither Solomon, Agur, nor Lemuel mentioned this dilemma.)

Those feelings have come through in a lot of the songs I've written in the past few months, lyrics of which include, "If I let you go, will you remember to love me?" and "The ears I wish were listening, aren't." To my chagrin, writing those songs proved to have no therapeutic value, since the disconnect from the people that I wished could be affected by them will never hear them.

On the other hand, I have no doubt they'll be available for public consumption soon enough. (The songs, not the people. Cannibalism should be discouraged if at all possible.) My studio has a dedicated space now, and is probably just a couple weeks from being fully functional. I'll furnish pictures later.

But in Indiana, it's been too nice of a week to talk much about the indoors. I'd much rather introduce you to some of my new neighbors. The raccoon has proven too elusive, and the beautiful red birds (cardinals, maybe?) too skittish for the camera. But the finches, rabbits, cardinals, sparrows, chipmunks, doves, etc. have proven to be more willing to strike a pose. (And holy cow - while writing this, a hawk actually made a first appearance! His mammoth body seemed very out of place in my backyard!)

Well, they're not exactly hawks or raccoons, but here's a few of my new companions:

None of these guys talk much, which makes for some pretty one-sided conversations. So if we haven't communicated in awhile, drop me an email, text, or phone call. If I loved you before, I still do - I promise. The only variable in that equation is what your feelings towards me might be now.


At 7:02 PM, Anonymous Tim B said...

Good to have you back

At 11:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


You're getting too MUSHY! As my beloved mother used to say..."GET OFF THE PITY POT!!".

We loved you when you were our pastor and we miss and love you still...even in Indiana.

A Calvary Chapel Cheyenne Brother

At 1:51 PM, Anonymous ladyk said...

Oh fiddlesticks! Be mushy if you want to, it's part and parcel of being human. Yeah, we still love you, and that won't change through time nor distance...not answering emails though...that's another matter entirely! (jk) How does Dakota like the new place? Is it 'home' yet? Have you found a new church home nearby?
Love in Christ,


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