Thursday, December 07, 2006

Call Me Phil

I don't know where people are hearing about my blog, but it's been picking up quite a bit of traffic in the last couple weeks. It's weird, because other than a small handful of folks from Cheyenne who keep in touch (as much as you CAN keep in touch with me, since I work all the time and rarely have time to respond), the traffic is coming from elsewhere.

Elsewhere. An interesting word. Where? Somewhere else. Elsewhere. Why doesn't it work for the other important questions, like "Who?" Someone else. Elsewho.

Some words are more expandable. Take, for example, "yesterday." It also works for "yesteryear." So why don't we utilize "yestermonth" or "yesterweek"? Because it's stupid, just like the idea of writing to a worldwide audience when you don't have anything to say.

It's kind of like the comic strips. Have you noticed that what used to be your favorites just seem like newspaper filler now? I may be wrong, but I remember Dagwood being funny when I was a kid.

Speaking of filler, have you noticed that you're still reading, but aren't really enjoying it? This blog entry is like the sawdust in the dogfood or the pig snouts in the hotdogs.

Why do you keep reading? Maybe you're hoping that some great comedic insight is just around the next paragraph. Sorry, it's not.

Others like it when I spill my guts about the constant turmoil that's resulted from my life choices. These folks are likely hoping that the sputum of my regrets will be hawked up in this virtual sink. (Nice. You gotta admit, that was a good metaphor right there.)

Some readers only respond when I quote Scripture and say they can see glimmers of "the old me" in there somewhere.

You know what? The old me is pretty much the current me - just in a different setting. I've always been teaching people what the Bible says ever since I started learning interesting things to be found in it. I still do, but lately my opportunities have been very small and largely inconsequential.

Lately, I've been thinking of this whole thing as being like a powerful creature being put in a zoo. Think of the animal who lived on the African plain, hunting for its food, while trying to avoid its natural enemies. It flourished in that environment, because its life was being lived the way it should be lived. But put it in a zoo, where there's a feeding schedule, no danger, and no stimulation, and what have you got? Same animal, same potential, but no opportunity to display it.

Is any of this making sense? Doesn't matter. This entry is like the song on the album that you fast-forward through to get to the next one. And if it's a good album, that next song will be worth it.

Note: This one was so dumb, I almost didn't post it at all. And you read it anyway. Four minutes of your life you'll never get back. Ha!